The Descendants

R,

Saying we’re married feels very grown up, but the reality is, we lie in bed till 10am on weekends, eat lazily, bathe when we want, and act more like convivial  roommates than responsible adults. There are days when I feel like a student; but if your dad’s retiring, then that makes us pretty old ourselves.

It’s very easy to be in love when it’s just the two of us, and we’re fairly low-maintenance people to begin with. Add elements like a child and parents who need our support, and it all becomes very complicated very fast. I’m jumping ten steps ahead of myself over here, given that we’re not expecting a baby; two out of four parents are working; and all four are in good health with a reasonable amount of savings, touch wood.

Just because they don’t need us right now doesn't mean they never will. Even if they never need us, we may want to be closer just so they can watch their grandkids grow up. It’s a Hallmark-y idea, I love the idea of three generations getting to know each other. I enjoyed living with my dad’s father, and spending summers with my mum’s parents. It definitely made me a different person than I would have been with a nuclear family. It seems unfair to deny our parents & kids a similar experience just because it’s not required of us.

Two adjoining houses, or one big one? Which city will be have to live in for both sets of parents to be comfortable, and for us to have decent job prospects/local schools? Those are just the big questions. Much as we like each other’s families, it will be a radical change in our lifestyle. I think we may have to do some actual growing up at some point in the next three to five years.

-A.