Week 10: Make way for the bump

Kumquat, grape fruit, prune. All options which I've never bought, or even paid much attention to, so I've no idea what the desi equivalent is. Bigger than a grape, smaller than a lime: Bump's officially a fetus now, and just over an inch long. R's calling it Akrut (walnut) this week! To go from urad daal size to that in 10 weeks is mind boggling. And when you add in the fact that there are the beginnings of little teeth and kidneys and all kinds of other things - I'm already in awe of this baby. I weigh just under a kilo more than I did two weeks ago, which is roughly what Akrut is supposed to weigh now. 

This is R's last week at work, and he's been focusing on the homestretch of big presentations. By the time he's home, I've invariably given up the struggle, and loosened the top button of my shorts. My jeans are still okay, but that's because they're all low waist. There's a slight but definite bloat here, and it's not (just) my usual cheese-fed potbelly. I wonder how long it'll be before I really start to show?

I weigh around 50kg pre-pregnancy, which is a healthy BMI for my height... but R reminded me that given the average weight of babies + amniotic fluids etc, I can expect to be carrying at least 15kg around the stomach area by the end of this. That was a nice visual. It was a good reminder that I should really exercise more, though. I've been taking it easy and that's not the best idea if I'll be doing that kind of weight lifting.

We went to see the doctor to go over the results of the dating scan, and we have an official due date: Feb 11, 2015. Now that we're two weeks away from the conventional 'safe date,' I've re-drawn our family tree to include Akrut, and Akrut's two fairly-new cousins (one of whom is due in November!). I'm going to use it to tell my parents/close relatives the news when we get to India.  

Before that, we're travelling for a while... we're both very relaxed about this, because Akrut's already been to Austria, Paris, London, Scotland, New York, and all around Toronto - by the end of the first trimester, he/she will have visited Vancouver and the Rockies too! Oddly enough, I'm less prone to motion sickness when I'm pregnant. A baby after our own hearts. Akrut's definitely getting a copy of Oh Baby, The Places You'll Go.

Moment of shame: I meant 'not now' but R thought I meant 'no thanks,' and ate the last of the chocolate. R once again proved that he's the best husband in the world by unquestioningly buying me replacements straight away, despite being mid-dinner. ("I like it when I can be the awesome one in the relationship.")

Moment of glory: I made myself a spinach & cheese melt on whole grain toast, and not only did I taste every mouthful, but I've also been longing for it since. This baby's finally starting to resemble me a little, instead of being all R with his Zen-like calmness and his sweet tooth! Cheese ftw!

*You'll have to excuse me if these posts seem overly detailed and unnecessary. I'm determined to chronicle every step of this as I think it's the only pregnancy we'll have. We want one more child - but we've always wanted to adopt. And you can bet I'm going to be writing all about that, not least because I don't think there's enough info on the Indian system yet. I thought Bump deserved equal coverage.*

Week 9: Not your usual pregnancy update

People we've told so far: 3.

The eye doctor, the eye doctor's receptionist, the dental hygienist.

Awkward conversations where everyone tells us how great it is that we don't have kids and can do whatever we want: too many to count.

R & I are finding it difficult not to scream the news from the mountaintops. It doesn't help that I don't look, feel, or act pregnant, so no one has any reason to guess. This week, we started telling people that we were moving back to India & that R would be starting his own business. So, of course, they told us how great it was not to have any 'responsibilities.' I predict we're going to have that elephant-in-the-room question when we tell them about the baby a month from now: was it planned?

Not that it's anyone's business, but it was; just as much as the entrepreneurship move was planned. We didn't necessarily expect both to culminate simultaneously though. We found out I was pregnant two days after R put down his papers. Does that change anything? I say no.

I'm not suggesting that we'll always put our lives before our kids', but in this case, I think it's warranted. We can't put our lives on hold to have a baby. R's business idea is time sensitive, and I really do think it'll work. As for Angur (the baby's grape sized this week) - having no insurance will be a bit of a pain, but even if we pay for everything ourselves, we still have the savings to get through a couple of years comfortably. I think it's far better to do this than to take the safe option and risk a slightly martyred resentfulness deep deep deep deep deeeeeeep down. 

I read a quote somewhere which goes roughly like this: 'Take the leap, a net will emerge.' This all still seems like a fairly well-hedged bet to me. There are moments when I start wondering if I should find a job, just to have a steady income - but that's the emotional side talking, not the rational. The rational knows that we'll be fine. 

This week, I'm proving Newton's law - a body in rest will stay in rest unless an outside force acts on it. Other than that, I'm still absurdly loving sugar with a passion (this is clearly R's child) and not able to taste much. I feel a little blind without my palate, but if that's the most I have to complain about, I still feel very lucky. In my mum's side of the family, legend has it that a difficult first trimester leads to a girl child. I guess that makes Angur a boy. 

It's a date!

First scan! I was very pleased to be told precisely how much water to drink beforehand. (I hate showing up at the doctor's/lab and being told to produce a sample - why not tell me before? Since I now visit the loo ten times a day, I rarely leave home without making sure there are NO samples left in me. At our first doctor's appointment, R & I hung out by the water cooler, giggling over how long it was taking. Happy times.)

In Toronto, it seems the policy is to do a dating scan as soon as possible, even if you've a fairly predictable body schedule. I wasn't in the same country as R for more than a month before I got pregnant, so I'd say I can date this pretty accurately... but I wasn't going to turn down a chance to see Rajhma - which is what we're calling the nugget in week 8, as it's the approximate size and shape of a kidney bean.

Either the scanning equipment's great, or Rajhma is one of those page 3 types, because we didn't need an internal scan to get some great photos - a trans-abdominal one showed the sonographer everything she needed to see right away. Unlike the movies where they say it's all blurry and indistinct, we could clearly make out a head, a body, and little arms & legs - we could even see the heartbeat pumping away. A huge beam split R's face - he's so excited, it's the cutest. I think it all seems more real to him now, he's started keeping closer tabs of my folic acid pills all of a sudden.

This week's symptoms (and I hear this is atypical): I'm still very rarely nauseous, and have managed not to throw up at all (that one time I drank my water too fast probably doesn't count). I haven't been dizzy. I can still comfortably do 2km a day. So all in all, this pregnancy's still been an absolute charmer. My only complaints are:

* Not being able to taste anything. R assures me I'm cooking fantastic stuff, so this is kind of sad.

* Craving sweets, chocolate cake in particular. This is the one thing I seem to be able to taste. I tried staving Rajhma off with blueberries & mangos, but caved and made a one-serving cake immediately afterwards.

* Complete inability to concentrate on any book. This is bumming me out, because I tear through at least 5 a week.  

Don't hate me yet. I'll probably have to pay for this in the third trimester, or in labour, or with impossible sleep training or something.

Weeks 5 & 6: That's what the pregnant woman said

Tearing through two sticky toffee puddings and eyeing the husband's ice cream: "I don't even like desserts."

After falling asleep at 10:30am, waking up to eat a whole bag of carrots & then falling asleep again: "Oh nooo, I've become one of those unemployed people!"

Trying to walk to the library nearby: "This used to be way easier! I think they moved it." 

Watching the World Pride Parade: "Doesn't this make you cry? Ok, whatever, this is just really emotional for me."

Looking in the mirror: "Woah, I look great! ...No, just look from there, don't come near me."

Watching Masterchef: "Wait, why are they all running around? What did they have to make? ...I've forgotten."

This was all before I confirmed the pregnancy. I put off taking the test for a really long time, because I was worried it'd be negative.

Obviously when I put all the evidence together like this, it seems a bit silly not to realize it... but in my defense, I'd be quite capable of saying any of that stuff on a regular day too :)

Buckle Up

R,

I've to give our parents/families/friends some serious props. In the last year or so, whenever we've said, "We've some news!" they've been expecting to hear what an average married couple may consider news. And instead, we've told them that.... I've quit my job.  I'm going to try writing a book. We've announced that I'm travelling for two months... solo.

And as of last week, we told them that we're moving back to India; that you're quitting your cushy day job (that makes two of us now!) to start your own business. You could audibly hear the sputters, and I understand why people may be confused, but I believe, from the bottom of my heart, that this is the best thing for you.

I've told you this before, but I'll say it again. You believe in me to the extent where I've no choice but to believe in myself. I hope you realize I'm similarly confident about your abilities. I'm excited to watch this leg play out. It's going to be a fun ride!

And in a couple of months, after we've finished travelling around Canada (because we can't just start a new job without a vacation!), we'll call them, and say, again, "We've some news."

They'll probably think we've decided to move to Nepal or something, at the rate at which we've been going. Little do they know... being predictable is the new being unpredictable :)

- A.