Week 28: Hello, Baby!

I think I'm tired, but I just can't seem to (a) get to sleep, (b) stay asleep, (c) wake up, or (d) get out of bed. It's like a very weird episode of Rip Van Winkle here.

I can't help thinking that if I just pushed myself, I'd get out of bed despite the exhaustion. I put that hypothesis to test with a morning show of Interstellar - the early show was the only one which had tickets available on a special 4D screen. I managed the movie, but I draaaagged myself through the rest of the day. So ok, this staying in bed for an hour longer in the mornings (probably) isn't just me being lazy/self-indulgent then.

There was a bit more 4D in my week - our first ever non-2D scan! It was a freebie I snagged off an internet ad, in addition to getting 20% off on the scan. Remarketing is awesome. This was our 28 week growth scan, and our first one at the hospital where I'll deliver. It's the best scan I've ever done, and made me really glad we chose this hospital. First of all, they actually started the scan on time, instead of making me wait for an hour - that's a first. Second, they have a big flatscreen TV on which images are beamed, so that you & your partner see exactly what the doctor's seeing. And third, 4D! A & I chorused our amazement as Chubster 'smiled', waved, and rubbed its eyes.

The sonographer kept saying how cute & chubby the baby was (although it weighed the requisite 1.16kg), and that it seemed to love the camera. No idea where it got either of those traits from, certainly not either of us! We got some lovely snapshots to take home as well as a video CD - another first. God, I love The Birthplace. If you're in Hyderabad, I highly recommend it, pricey as it is.

I sent the pics to my parents and A's parents in the next five minutes. Mine were excited ('Ooh, it looks like a boy! It looks like YOU!' Not sure if there's an insult in there somewhere, but I'll take it!) while A's just didn't respond. Later that night, he called them, and they berated him for sharing them, since it could be bad luck. I'd had a busy evening catching up on work, but since they brought it up, I messaged my parents and announced my intention to send it to close relatives - and they emphatically vetoed the idea too.

How is this their reaction to seeing their grandchildren for the first time?? Indian superstitions are all well and good, but they inject an unnecessary amount of fear and just suck the joy out of everything. Neither of us takes our parents' reactions personally when it comes to this stuff, but man, you'd think they'd think twice before speaking. We certainly do. We tiptoe around their belief systems all the time, worried about offending them. It's a damn shame that no Indian parent returns the courtesy, or even considers doing so. 

The weird thing is they ignore the fears they SHOULD have. Such as the fact that eating 'for two' will result in an unhealthy pregnancy. Or that 'walking slowly' doesn't amount to exercise. While I haven't been eating more than I should be, I've been guilty of not eating my sprouts daily, or replacing my walk-for-exercise with my walk-to-work. So I'm currently freaking out about the blood sugar tests I need to take this week. While baby & I are both well within the accepted weight range, I put on more weight last month than I typically do - and the weight seems to have stayed on me, rather than making the baby fatter. So I need to take a LOT more protein to try to bulk it up, rather than myself. And meanwhile, there are the dreaded tests. Fingers crossed.

Weeks 26 & 27: FINALLY saying goodbye to the second trimester!

You know when you get married, or rather, right before you get married, everyone tells you the first year will be the hardest? Similarly with the first trimester. Everyone's chock-full of horror stories about the nausea and the exhaustion and the hormones and... 

I'm going to be the voice for the exceptions, and tell you that in my case, the first year of marriage was an absolute honeymoon-period-daze of awesomeness. The second year, that's when the gloves came off. Similarly, my first trimester was fiiiine. Which made the second trimester all the more surprising. Everyone assured me it would be all energy bursts and unicorn kisses. Yeah, right.

In the first half of this trimester, there was a doomsday-ish fear. In the first trimester, as long as I was still falling asleep by 9pm, I knew something else probably controlled my body. In the second, I was back to my usual self, my stomach was flat (well, flattish, let's be honest), and there was no sign of life from within. How do you know there's still a baby in there?? Answer: you don't, until the nerve wracking 20-week TIFFA scan when each of the baby's organs are measured for any problems. Longest 6 weeks of my life, especially as we'd just started telling people about the baby, and I kept worrying we'd jinx it.

I divide the second trimester into BT & AT - Before TIFFA & After TIFFA. The former period was Dazed Denial. The latter was Crazy Town. I recently found myself Googling 'divorces in the second trimester,' amongst other things. Not because I wanted one, but because I was convinced my husband would. I tear up even more than usual. And eeeeverything's grounds for a fight! Nor is it only me that's emotional. A's equally stressed about the baby, especially since he can't feel it kicking away. So he's just as quick to snap. And have I mentioned that we shifted countries and changed careers and are still setting up a new home? Both of us are in the right, and in the wrong, with pretty much anything we're ranting about. The whole Oprah act of dissecting the argument empathetically so we can forgive each other gets super emotionally draining super fast. And frankly, we just don't have the time for it. So it's a good thing we're chilled out people who like each other very much.

I can't begin to imagine the pressure on a relationship that hasn't had the time to form solid roots. Not to mention a relationship with other people thrown in, like in-laws, or other relatives. I've been watching my pregnancy forums & boards, and I've noticed more break-up stories, complaints, and hormonal attacks than ever before. So yes, the second trimester may not have you physically puking, but emotionally, it's a whole other story, at least for a couple of weeks. Which isn't to say that it doesn't have its moments. The baby kicking is all kinds of awesome. And if you experienced nausea etc in the first trimester, I'm told it finally lets up now, much to everyone's joy. But for me, following on the heels of an uneventful first trimester, the second one was a slap that proved I wasn't completely immune to hormonal changes.

The good news is that it ends. Moving into our third trimester, we're starting to invest our energy in the practical stuff. Over the last two weeks, A & I took four prenatal classes together. We find the same things helpful and outrageous (one doctor actually said, "They deliver breech babies naturally in the West because they don't care if the baby dies there. You couldn't pay me to deliver my baby in the US!"). We both acknowledge that despite this baby being very much planned and even more wanted, we'd really like some more time together, just the two of us. But we also know that that's what we'll always want. We're talking to each other, and, more importantly, listening to each other again. I think it's safe to say the second trimester suckiness has passed. I'm excited to see what the third brings!

Week 25: Blow-ups (The Belly Kind & Otherwise)

I was freaking out a little about my next weigh-in because I'd lost a tiny bit of weight at my last appointment... but I just noticed my belly button's now an outie!! I know this isn't the least attractive bodily quirk I'll go through during this whole pregnancy + labour thing, but it's freaking me out! On the bright side, I figure I must have put on weight if it ballooned itself out like that :) Almost in time for the last trimester, and about time too. 

As for how I put it on - well, it was my birthday. There was cake. Also, there was shifting to our own house (finally!). And as a result of that + shopping to set it up + running errands for it in general, there hasn't been any time to go for my daily walk. I walk plenty, just not in my trainers. Technically this house is big enough to do laps in by itself. We mostly use just one wing and ignore the other. That's got to come in handy when we have our parents over post-baby though. It's much quieter out here. The baby seems to move around a lot more when we're near A's parents' place, where there's more hustle and bustle.

This week's been a bit exhausting, and I've been very impressed with myself for not crashing. I've been working hard, staying up late, waking up early, doing a lot of cleaning up, and I even put aside pregnancy brain long enough to stay up till 2am, go out with friends the next day, and win at cards! (I don't even like cards, this is only the second time I've ever played - and the second time I won too! You'd think I'd like it more).

Mostly though, it's been exhausting because of the shifting thing. That always seems to come with drama; mostly because my husband and I have very different personality types. We had a bit of a blow-up, which pissed me off because it happened on my birthday. And not just any birthday, but my last one with just us. Not to mention my 28th, on the 28th, making it a silver or a gold birthday or whatever. Anyway, I don't usually hold out for big gifts or extravagant gestures, but I do kind of like my world to be nicer to me than usual. So it really annoyed me that he not just shouted at me, but stalked off in the middle of the road, saying I could take care of stuff on my own. Quite apart from it being my birthday etc, what happened to being protective because I'm pregnant?? Sometimes I think I'm too low maintenance about this being pregnant thing (last week, he asked if I wanted to go out for drinks... he'd literally forgotten I was carrying his child).

It wasn't the worst fight we've ever had, and it was stupid because we invariably have a bit of a grumpy shout whenever we move. Plus, objectively speaking, he was right to be mad because I had ditzed out. So it's not a big deal at all, except for the timing of it. It made it super awkward when people called up and asked what we were doing to celebrate, because typically, he whisks me away somewhere and does something really special, so they get a Nicholas Sparks worthy story when they ask. 

He did take me out for a really really nice dinner overlooking a lake, and that was lovely. But it was not the best birthday I've ever had, and it's not one I'm likely to forget, even if I do forgive him. Aaaand that's week 25. This week also marks four years since we officially got the go-ahead to get married from both our families :) Egos and yelling aside, I wouldn't change it for the world.