I'm so overdue on this post. I intended to write it ages ago, then put it off thinking I'd write it after my 37+3 check-up, after the sugar/thyroid check following that appointment, after my 38 week check-up. I guess you could say I've been giving in to thoughts on jinxing and superstition.... plus, I'm just plain great at procrastination!
Reaching week 37 meant I no longer need to worry about 'preterm' labour. My doctor's told me at every appointment since week 36 that I could go into labour any time since I'm carrying a 'smaller' baby. I don't mind hearing it and willing her to be wrong (as long as the kick counts are normal, I'm happy to have baby cook in there for as long as possible). I'm still working for a few clients, cooking, and handling basic household chores, so there's enough to distract me from obsessing about this stuff. In fact, I usually indulge in obsessive worst-case prophesying only the morning of an appointment, and right after. That's also why I invariably treat myself a little every Saturday evening, after my weekly checkup :)
At 37+3, I was meant to have my first internal exam. I wasn't looking forward to it much, because A couldn't be there, so my father (who'd come into town that morning) would be. Awks. However, after feeling my belly, the doctor said that while the baby's head was down, it wasn't engaged yet, so she'd rather wait. I'd put on 300 grams in a week, which was better than the week before... but she wanted to check for thyroid and sugar again, just in case. She also reiterated that she'd be willing to wait up to 42 weeks for me to go into labour naturally, but that she thought it would be a whole lot sooner. And she said the baby would be small, which was sad because at this point I was finally looking pregnant, rather than just a bit tubby. To my surprise, my dad didn't seem worried at all, and even said that I'd been a small baby, but had done well on the outside.
We attended a session on ergonomics, pain relief, and third trimester do's & don'ts after that. Dad was very interested, especially after I cross-questioned his preconceived notions a bit ("Pain relief takes away from the beauty and glory of natural birthing don't you think?" "I think that's a myth perpetrated by women from a generation who didn't have options. I'm not saying I'll necessarily take them, but how can you, who can't even feel the pain, decide how much glory I should endure?"). He got very enthu about how much medicine had changed and what thorough professionals the doctors at the clinic were. He learned a lot, apparently, and kept telling my parents and in-laws nifty little tips he'd picked up. His enthusiasm is so cute. And he loved the cheese sandwiches served there too!
My mum's staying on in Hyderabad until the baby arrives, and after. I realized I have a hard time relinquishing control of my kitchen, or indeed my house, but I'm learning. I usually try to at least prep for her, or cook a dish or two. I know she probably finds it weird because I don't lift a finger at home... their home, I mean. Direct quote: "I didn't know you could cook so well!" I've no idea how I got to the age of 28 without cooking my parents a single thing. As much as I'm possessive over my own kitchen, I'm equally uncomfortable in anyone else's. Go figure. Anyway, she's been a little paranoid about how much I still do around the house, as well as in terms of yoga/exercise. She won't let me go out alone. Crossing the road is out of the question. Drives me a little batty, but I suppose I can live with it for a few weeks. As I keep telling her, even with this amount of exercise + a vigilant diet, for some reason my sugar levels lately have been coming back just normal/slightly high. Not for a normal person, but for a pregnant person.
I still don't waddle, hurray! But my face is chubby, my belly button becomes an outie whenever I eat a lot or exercise, and I have a linea negra so prominent that Anil Kapoor would blush. Those were the three other pregnancy symptoms I was hoping to avoid... but I guess they don't really impact me at all, especially since the tests confirmed I don't have any issues with my thyroid (so my face's chubbiness is all me). My skin is also way dry, despite moisturizing, AND drinking close to 4 liters every day. I officially gave up on it. It should come back to normal soon enough. As for my belly, after rising like a souffle, it's now dropped a bit with the baby. This is causing me to wake up and worry about whether it's still in there and kicking... kind of a second trimester recap.
I still don't waddle, hurray! But my face is chubby, my belly button becomes an outie whenever I eat a lot or exercise, and I have a linea negra so prominent that Anil Kapoor would blush. Those were the three other pregnancy symptoms I was hoping to avoid... but I guess they don't really impact me at all, especially since the tests confirmed I don't have any issues with my thyroid (so my face's chubbiness is all me). My skin is also way dry, despite moisturizing, AND drinking close to 4 liters every day. I officially gave up on it. It should come back to normal soon enough. As for my belly, after rising like a souffle, it's now dropped a bit with the baby. This is causing me to wake up and worry about whether it's still in there and kicking... kind of a second trimester recap.
A & my mom both came to my 38 week appointment, but the doctor was prepping for surgery. This meant we had to meet her in the sterile rooms upstairs, and my mum couldn't come in because of a recent foot surgery which means she can't wear any footwear except her special ones. So A & I were alone for our first internal - thank god. The doctor got in there with more ease than I thought she would. I don't know what my pain threshold is, but I do know injections and internal exams don't bother me. There was a bit of intense pressure as she tried to see how far she could push me, but that was the worst of it. No bleeding after or anything. And she said the mouth was open, I was ready for labour, but that the discharge looked 'clean' so she wasn't worried about Group B Strep or anything else. I was super relieved at the 'clean' comment, because she's been asking about increased/smelly discharge for a while now, and I keep telling her it's all normal - I would hate to think I missed reporting something! And then, because my sugar level on the last test was high, she needed me to get a glucometer and give her 4 blood sugar readings a day for three days.
That's where I am now. 38+6, and poking myself daily. Well, my mom's poking me. She has experience and is so much better at it than I would be, so thank God she's here. She did say though that she's barely able to think about how much it must hurt me, so she's convinced now that being in the labour room would worry her + stress me out too much :) That's good, because I was feeling guilty about not even considering having anyone except A there. Technically, he's terrified too, but he says he wants to be there for me anyway. I of course have my typical Rani of Jhansi face on, and barely notice needle pokes or the crampy back ache that's just starting to happen. It really is mostly ignorable so far.
My readings sometimes come back normal, sometimes low, sometimes high. I know that I couldn't eat healthier if I tried. I mostly eat like I have diabetes anyway, even when I'm not pregnant. And for the last few months, I've eaten better than anyone I know + done more than anyone I know who's this far along. So it's scary to think that if my levels are STILL sometimes high, then it's literally out of my control. And it doesn't keep me from beating myself up any. Could that be causing it? I don't know.
That said, we made it so far. 8 days to go till my due date by LMP, 11 if we go with the date that I know is more accurate, and 14 to the due date that I most want (yes, I have a lot of patience, and am really not too uncomfortable at all). I check WhenToExpect.com and SpaceFem.com daily for changing odds of when I'll go into labour... and then I choose not to believe them either, because I really really want a Valentine's alone with A, and the baby to come on our engagement anniversary! (It was conceived the week of our wedding anniversary).
I'm really hoping that seeing my sugar readings report day after won't influence my doctor to change the delivery plan or say I need to have the baby sooner. I have an amniotic fluid scan on Saturday as well, so that could make a difference too. Fingers crossed and prayers firmly in place. I just want a natural healthy everything for my baby, as I've had all my life. Either way, I've stopped procrastinating on a few things.
The family heirloom cradle will be delivered today, which is very exciting. I'm also starting to pack my hospital bag, and should be done by day after. The bit I'm most excited about is the gift basket I'm making for A. It has chocolate champagne bottles, chocolate cigars, and diapers with funny notes on them! My mum's worried he'll see them, but as I keep telling her - I once hid a 1kg cake and a giant whiteboard from him for 1.5 days. He isn't the kind that notices additions to the house :)
I'm also working on birth announcement templates and things like that today (yes, I'm very organized when I want to be). And tomorrow, the thing I've been putting off forever - nighty shopping, argh! I feel too young for nighties, especially those open front ones. Also, tomorrow's when I download my movies/books/TV series stuff onto my tablet, and hand off the baby's clothes to be washed.
I'm also working on birth announcement templates and things like that today (yes, I'm very organized when I want to be). And tomorrow, the thing I've been putting off forever - nighty shopping, argh! I feel too young for nighties, especially those open front ones. Also, tomorrow's when I download my movies/books/TV series stuff onto my tablet, and hand off the baby's clothes to be washed.
Then I should be all set, no matter what.