R,
Indian society is most amusing. As you know, we frown down on people interacting with strangers of the opposite sex before marriage - all that only happens in movies! However, we've no qualms demanding babies from virtual strangers the day after their wedding, and every day thereafter, till they've coughed up the requisite dual offspring. At this point, we start asking when they’re marrying their children off.
What perverse kicks do sundry neighbors get at being able to convey the news, “They’re trying!”? I suspect they feel it’s their dharmic duty to be able to advise the young couple misguided enough to admit, “Well, we can’t really afford kids right now,” or “We’re focusing on our careers.” It goes without saying that no Indian couple has ever dared to even dream the words, “We just don’t want kids.”
I seem to recall one of my relatives telling me the Gita or one of those other holy grails states you can only be reborn if you choose your offspring’s spouse, and expand the race caste-appropriately. And people wonder why India’s over populated.
I understand there’s probably comfort in predictability. When couples don’t produce said children magically, three, four, even five years into a marriage, random shopkeepers start to take note and enquire. I’m equally curious – haven’t these ‘helpful’ people ever come across the all too common reasons couples sometimes haven’t had kids, even (gasp) five long years into their marriage?
“I've had miscarriages.” “I’m infertile.” “He’s impotent.”How do they plan to help then?
As evidenced by our social media feeds (thanks a lot, Zuckerberg), our friends are having babies, and I’m thrilled for them. The downside is that other friends are trying to have babies, and that doesn't always make for happy conversations. I've heard heartbreaking stories (without asking!), and I can’t imagine the salt-in-the-wound it must be when they’re asked why they haven’t produced a baby yet. It makes me want to punch sensitivity into some people.
Remember when heartbreak used to be your favorite boy band breaking up? Life was so simple before babies – and our babies haven’t even been conceived yet.
=A.
Indian society is most amusing. As you know, we frown down on people interacting with strangers of the opposite sex before marriage - all that only happens in movies! However, we've no qualms demanding babies from virtual strangers the day after their wedding, and every day thereafter, till they've coughed up the requisite dual offspring. At this point, we start asking when they’re marrying their children off.
What perverse kicks do sundry neighbors get at being able to convey the news, “They’re trying!”? I suspect they feel it’s their dharmic duty to be able to advise the young couple misguided enough to admit, “Well, we can’t really afford kids right now,” or “We’re focusing on our careers.” It goes without saying that no Indian couple has ever dared to even dream the words, “We just don’t want kids.”
I seem to recall one of my relatives telling me the Gita or one of those other holy grails states you can only be reborn if you choose your offspring’s spouse, and expand the race caste-appropriately. And people wonder why India’s over populated.
I understand there’s probably comfort in predictability. When couples don’t produce said children magically, three, four, even five years into a marriage, random shopkeepers start to take note and enquire. I’m equally curious – haven’t these ‘helpful’ people ever come across the all too common reasons couples sometimes haven’t had kids, even (gasp) five long years into their marriage?
“I've had miscarriages.” “I’m infertile.” “He’s impotent.”How do they plan to help then?
As evidenced by our social media feeds (thanks a lot, Zuckerberg), our friends are having babies, and I’m thrilled for them. The downside is that other friends are trying to have babies, and that doesn't always make for happy conversations. I've heard heartbreaking stories (without asking!), and I can’t imagine the salt-in-the-wound it must be when they’re asked why they haven’t produced a baby yet. It makes me want to punch sensitivity into some people.
Remember when heartbreak used to be your favorite boy band breaking up? Life was so simple before babies – and our babies haven’t even been conceived yet.
=A.
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